Chapter 1- The Garage

Sun crept in my windows with a blinding intensity. I peek my eyes open and realize the light is bouncing off of the snow-covered landscape outside. Groaning, I roll back over and pull the covers over my head. For Christmas morning, I should be a lot more excited to get up, but I keep replaying last night in my head. Why did it have to end? Why can’t I go back and repeat it? What did it mean?

Throwing my hand out from under my comforter, I grope around until I find my phone and pull it under the sheets with me. I see a few Christmas morning messages there, but only one catches my eyes and makes my stomach clench. I slide across the line that says “Nialler” on my lock screen and read the message, first quickly, then going back, reading and analyzing every word in detail.

Finally, once I have it memorized, I close my eyes and let it sink in my head. How many more times can we go through this? The history between us is something no one understands except us. Honestly, I don’t even understand most of it. We were never on the same page, never right timing, never got or gave honest answers.

Not even wanting to address the drunk 3:34 am text from him, I just answered back with a “Merry Christmas,” to which I didn’t expect a response back. I knew better by now. After 10 years you learned these things about one another, even if you didn’t understand them. Thinking back on the past decade, I pulled the covers off of my face and stared up at the ceiling. Clearly, I was too distracted now to be getting any more sleep. Daydreaming, I revisited our first encounter. Well, not really our first, but the one where Niall and I turned into “us.” I can still replay it in my head like it was yesterday…

“Now the fridge in the garage has citrus vodka, just put it in one of our coolers to bring over.” Said Mrs. Horan as she handed the keys of her minivan over to Niall.

“And throw in some more beers!” My dad yelled from the other side of the bleachers. 

As we strolled out of the youth football stadium where his dad was coaching and our brothers were playing, I rolled my eyes at Niall, “You’d think we were the responsible adults in this situation.” He threw his head back and laughed as we strolled to the car. “This is going to be one of those stories we’re never gonna let them live down. Parents of the year, they are.” He shot me a smirk and a side glance. Those were the types of looks that just knotted up my insides.

            My family and the Horans go way back. Growing up, I did gymnastics with his little sister Ashling, our little brothers played youth football together, and over time our parents became the best of friends. We’ve grown up together, so it’s natural that I feel attached to the family. But for Niall, I’ve always felt something more.

            He’s a year older than me, and has always been drop dead gorgeous in my opinion. He just knows how to carry himself, you know? And the worst part of it is that he knows it.

            On the way to his house, we banter the entire car ride. He drives way too fast for the curvy back roads and flips through song after song, making fun of me for not knowing his up-and-coming bands and artists. When we get to his place, I lead the way into the back garage door like I would walk into my own home. I mean, it practically is like a second home to me. We begin raiding the fridge and packing as much into the cooler as possible.

As he lifts a case off the bottom shelf, I can’t help but freeze to glare at his chiseled arms wrapped in that tight black t-shirt. He must have sensed my stare because he turned his face just far enough over his shoulder to pierce me with those gorgeous blue eyes. When his met mine, the corners of his mouth turned upward and I quickly shook my head and turned my back to get a bag of ice. As I emptied the bag of ice into another cooler I thought I heard a small giggle coming from the fridge. Thank god I was facing the cooler so he couldn’t see me blush.

It’s just Niall anyway. I needed to snap out of it. I knew I wanted him but this was never going to get me anywhere. Niall only ever went after girls that were just as outgoing and obnoxiously confident as he was. And that was something I definitely was not.

            “How about we take one for the ride? They kind of owe us…” Niall smirks holding up a bottle of vodka. A smile twists across my face. Although I immediately worry about the parents smelling it on us or getting caught driving back to the field. When he sees the hesitation in my eyes, he snorts, “C’mon live a little!” Why does he have to be so fucking fearless, making me want him even more. There’s no way I’m ever going back to seeing him as an older brother again.

            If he’s gonna push the limits, so am I. I turn on my heel and duck into the kitchen where I grab two shot glasses. “Hit me.” I say in my most confident tone, as I slam the glasses on the top of the cooler. Niall lifted his one eyebrow in my direction; he was probably expecting more of a lecture from me.

            He kept his eyes focused on me as he unscrewed the cap and poured us each a shot. Holding up the glass, he winked and said, “Here’s to a good time darlin’.” We clinked and I threw the alcohol down my throat, making the mistake of breathing it in. It tasted like shit but I tried not to pull a face. It must not have worked because Niall chuckled and shook his head. “C’mon champ, gotta do at least one more. Just one is gonna get us nowhere. By the time we get back to the field, this little kid football game might turn into something fun.” 

I was feeling my chest warming from the alcohol, even after only one shot, so feeling a little more confident I said, “And what type of fun did you have in mind?” He finished pouring our second shot with a smirk on his face, lifted the glass to mine and said, “Here’s to a contact sport that’s even better than football.” The vodka warming my stomach felt even better this time, and I sat down on top of the cooler. As I leaned over to set my glass on the ground, Niall got just the right view down my low-cut, baby blue sundress.

            Next thing I knew, the cooler was moving beneath me and I soon realized Niall had grabbed the handle and pulled it to position me right in between his legs where he was sitting on a folding chair. He put his strong hands on my thighs, right where my dress ended and pulled me even closer, right to the edge of the cooler. I looked from his hands up to his piercing blue eyes and smiled “Careful player, that might be considered roughing the passer.”

            “Oh, I can show you rough” Niall said as he forcefully leaned in and pressed his lips into mine. His teeth nipped at my lower lip, demanding entrance into my mouth. His tongue pushed its way into my mouth and his hands reached up to grab and squeeze my breasts. As I sharply inhaled my head became filled with his scent. I gripped his hair at his dark roots and pulled him closer, making our movements rougher, more urgent, and passionate. I had never been with someone who was so forceful and so steady. Even though I thought it might make me more timid, it actually just made me hungry for more. 

            As if he knew what I was thinking, his one hand reached down and slowly slid up the length of my thigh, rubbing the inside with his thumb. I broke away from his lips as I lightly gasped, making him smile at what he was doing to me. He rubbed his hand over the top of my thigh and around so he was gripping my ass. With one swift movement he pulled me off the cooler and onto his lap. I was straddling him now and I could feel him hardening against me. My stomach tightened at the thought of his dick pressing inside of me. I crashed my lips back onto his and slowly began involuntarily rocking my hips against his bulge.

            I felt his hand press up against the outside of my panties. Even the slight contact with my clit made me feel like I could go over the edge in seconds. He moved his hand in slow circles and a whimper escaped my lips. “Niall, I want you so bad.” I whispered against his ear. He nibbled and sucked on my earlobe, then traveled kisses behind my ear and down the side of my neck. Coming back up to my ear he whispered “Oh yea, how bad?”

            When I didn’t answer he pulled his hand off of me and I thought I was going to die from the sudden loss. “I said how bad do you want me.” I bit my lip and groaned. This was crossing into a whole new territory that I wasn’t completely comfortable with. I felt like I was burning between my legs and I rubbed against his cock to try to relieve the tension. He stopped my hips and smirked “C’mon miss goody goody, ya gotta give me a little dirty talk. Tell me what you want.”

            Finally I gave in and everything that was on my mind came out. “I just want you inside of me. I want you to fuck me so hard and I want you to make me come all over your dick as you-“ I couldn’t finish my sentence as he pulled my face into his and without warning pushed my panties aside and thrust two fingers inside of me. He pumped in and out, his middle finger just pressing on my g-spot. I had never felt pleasure like this before. He was amazing at this and at that moment I wished he would never stop.

“You’re so wet for me already. If I had known you were this much of a cheap drunk and a sure fuck I would have done this ages ago.” He growled, as he looked straight in my eyes. His thumb moved to my clit and I couldn’t keep eye contact as I threw my head back yelling out “Fuck Niall, oh my god!”

He began pumping faster and faster, hitting my g-spot every time in the same rhythm as his thumb worked in circles on my clit. I could feel my stomach tightening and my walls pulsing around his fingers. Between heavy breaths I moaned “shit Niall, I’m so close!” It only took two more strokes and him saying “C’mon baby, come all over my fingers…” to send me over the edge. My walls tightened around his fingers over and over again. I had never had such an intense orgasm in my entire life. Pure ecstasy pumped through my entire body. “OH my god Niall! Fuck! Oh my god!” I said under my breath as I rode out my orgasm.

“That was fucking incredible,” I said breathing heavily. He grinned up at me as I reached down and slid my hand down his shorts, ready to return the favor. Just then, the garage door began rumbling and I squinted as the sun pierced through the opening. 

“Fuck, must be Ashling!” I said, pulling my hand out of his pants and quickly hopping off of him to fix my dress. No sooner than I had my ass covered back up again she strolled into the garage. Niall looked dumbstruck still sitting on the chair. I made eyes at him to fix himself and he quickly snapped out of his trance.

“How was shopping!” I said, trying to act as if her brother wasn’t just finger fucking me.

“Eh, alright, but I didn’t find the shoes I was looking for to go with that grad party dress. What are you two up to?” 

“Getting some supplies for the parents,” I motioned to the cooler, “we were just about to head back now.” Why did I feel so fucking jumpy? Something I might call guilt was slowly creeping into my system. But really I coldn’t say I regretted anything that just happened. Ashling and I have been friends forever. She would be fucking pissed if she found out I was fooling around with Niall. Even she knew Niall only hooked up with stupid sluts, and she always hated them. 

“You gonna come up to the field?” Niall asked her, probably scoping out whether or not she was expecting a ride back with us. I was praying she wouldn’t want to come with us, but maybe Niall was thinking otherwise at this point.

“Yea, I’m just gonna drop my bags off and I’ll just ride back with you guys.” She said as she turned to walk in the house. I turned to walk in after her when Niall’s arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me backwards and pressed me up against him, with my ass in his crotch.

He put his lips right next to my ear and whispered, “Just so you know we’re not fuckin’ done yet. You still owe me big time.” He winked, nipped my earlobe, and walked past me into the house.

After realizing I hadn’t breathed for about 30 seconds, I tried to compose myself before walking in the house. My hands felt shaky and I could feel that I had gotten wet again even from just his breath against my neck. Hooking up with Niall was bad news. I’ve been able to handle him as being the like-a-brother family friend, but I don’t know if I could resist him now that we’ve crossed that line. All I could think about is that I couldn’t wait for the next time.

I’ll never forget that time in the garage. Even thinking about it now I find myself wanting him. His confidence and firmness were something I’ve never been able to resist. That moment was the beginning of the biggest roller coaster ride of my life. It wasn’t until the last year or so that I’ve given up on expecting for anything steady from Niall. Which is exactly why I wasn’t expecting a text back this Christmas morning.

However, that doesn’t mean I’ve ever stopped hoping for something more with Niall. Which is exactly why I was still looking at my text screen hoping a new message would pop up.

I sat up in bed, threw a sweatshirt on, and got ready to go wake my brother up. Checking the “Nialler” message screen one more time, my mouth dropped open a little when I saw the (…) on the screen. Was he actually texting me back? He never did the morning after. NEVER. It always made me feel used and dirty before. It still made me feel that way now but it didn’t bother me as much as before. I had become almost a little numb to it. Then, the (…) disappeared.

Maybe it was a fluke. But maybe he typed something and then deleted it. Last night was different, maybe he was thinking something different now too? All of a sudden, it appeared on the screen again! (…) what did it mean!? Was he trying to say something about last night, about us, about the last few years, about our relationship, but just didn’t know how to? He’s never been good at communicating his feelings. In my mind I started trying to mentally urge him to hit the send button, “Just press it! I just want to know what you’re thinking! Send! Send! Send!”

But just like always when I try to push him, he retreated once again. The little (…) vanished from the screen. I stared at my phone for 5 minutes before convincing myself that it was nothing and I wouldn’t be getting any messages. I tried to block him out of my mind so I locked my phone, put it on my dresser and told myself I wouldn’t revisit it until that night when all our Christmas activities had come to an end. Of course, that’s a lie. I can’t survive without my phone for more than an hour or two. But I was determined not to sit there waiting for a little “Nialler” message to light up my screen. We’ve done this too many times… but when was it going to end?

Visiting my room after dinner, I checked my phone. My mouth dropped open when I read: “at the pub, come down for a few!” And of course, despite my best judgment, I answered back “be there in 10,” and went to pick out an outfit. This kid was like my fucking addiction. I just can’t say no.

I hope you enjoyed! This was my first time writing something so please leave any feedback you have in my ask! I have a story line planned out so it could be a long one but I’ll see from feedback whether or not I’ll continue. Thanks for reading! Xx

Edit: You can read Chapter 2 here!